


Empty Spaces

by DarkShadeless



Series: Empty Spaces [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Tahl is too curious for her own good, Warnings in the notes, jedi adventures, no idea how to tag this without spoilers, okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 02:23:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16693633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkShadeless/pseuds/DarkShadeless
Summary: The best way to overlook something is to believe it isn’t there.Or: Tahl stumbles over something interesting. Wherever will that lead her?





	Empty Spaces

**Author's Note:**

> Written with this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8K92fJnVOQ in mind. You'll recognize the point at which it becomes relevant ;)
> 
> Spoilery trigger warnings in the bottom notes, for those who want them.

 

 

_Sometimes you can only feel something by its absence. By the empty spaces it leaves behind.  
_

_\-   Gayle Forman  
_

 

 

When Tahl came across the reference she barely paid it any mind. She was pulling an all-nighter, scrounging for scraps of ancient history that might lead to unearthing long lost Jedi artefacts, as she often did when she was the only one of her immediate friends in the Temple.

Qui-Gon and Mika were gallivanting around in the galaxy somewhere and while she missed them fiercely it meant no one was there who would police her sleeping habits if she didn’t start missing actual appointments.

Currently she was working on four hours of sleep and a solid litre of caf. Maybe two. Tahl hadn’t exactly kept count of her refills.

Only when she ambushed Madame Nu in the small hours of the morning was she reminded of the innocuous note that had flown right by her caffeine addled brain.

“You don’t understand I need them _right now_!”

“Master Tahl, I really have to insist- Oh my.” The librarian’s disapproving gaze slid off her dishevelled appearance and fell onto the pad’s contents as if the device had personally wronged her. “Master, I am very sorry but anything you have gleaned from this might be suspect. I’ll have to put it down for review.”

“-and the scrolls of Abitur, wait what?” Tahl blinked at her uncomprehendingly. That had to have been an auditory hallucination.

“My dear Tahl, the Arda system only has two habitable planets.” _As you should well know,_ Madame Nu’s tone indicated. “I shall be correcting this at _once_.”

 

That could have been that. Whether it was a glitch in the data base, a typo left behind by accident or something else, there were a hundred possible sources of such an error. Embarrassing, for someone who claimed their Archive knew all there was to know as Madame Nu was wont to, but little more.

Yet for some reason Tahl couldn’t seem to let it go. There was a niggling feeling teasing at her, the faintest hint that she was missing something.

She couldn't help but steal away with a copy of the unedited file and found herself poring over it for hours, tracing which parts of the text were connected to the mistake.

Not many. Still more than a few.

 

_… headed home for the harvest festival. Hopefully it won’t be as windy as last time, he complained for days …_

_… craftsmanship unlike anything I have seen before …_

_… shall have to ask for another shaving of rock, as sadly the last sample has disintegrated …_

Strange for an error to reoccur with such consequence.

In the end curiosity got the better of Tahl. She had to be sure, even if she had to translate the original of this manuscript herself.

 

\---

 

A month later she was stepping off a transport on the second planet of the Arda system.

 _This_ , Tahl thought, _is what I get for being as stubborn as a bantha. Qui is going to break his back laughing at me when I get home._

Unless she really did find a lost planet. Not that it was likely.

Arda 2 was hardly a core world but it had a lively economy. Largely covered in a cityscape, it was on the best way of following the examples set by Coruscant and Corellia as far as urbanisation went. Naturally, that made for a steady flow of travel and commerce off-world. Her own transport was only one of many on the docks.

_Well, I’m here now. Might as well make a complete fool of myself._

 

Unsurprisingly, it was easier said than done to charter a shuttle for a joyride to nowhere, at least on Temple funds. As a rule, the Jedi Order tended to frown upon exercises in futility. Tahl’s allowance certainly reflected that.

“No can do lady. Jedi or no, that barely covers fuel costs.”

_Force damn it._

“Thank you anyway. Do you know if anyone might make a roundtrip sometime soon?”

The spacer laughed. “Look, there’s nothing to see out there, alright? Bet I can find someone to swing you a ride over to Arda 1, dustbowl that it is, but that’s pretty much it.” He flagged the waiter and paid his drinks, leaving her to slump against the counter.

Was this going to be it? Tahl had to admit at this point she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t turned around and gone home yet. She had witnesses out the wazoo, people who flew these skies for a living, and not a one had seen hide nor hair of a third planet in orbit of their sun. The records at the public library confirmed their experiences.

Well, not _all_ of them _._

In the restricted section, where the _real_ documents were kept (Sometimes still on paper! Incredible for such a small institute.) she had found mention of Arda the third. The librarian helping her had confessed, sheepishly, that such had given their historians much grief in the past and still did. Apparently minds were divided on whether the planet was a hoax or had actually existed and been destroyed by some sort of calamity. Conspiracy nuts claimed it was real, still, and the government was involved in a large-scale cover-up.

“You see Master Jedi, the orbit of Arda 2 and our sister planet has always been somewhat unusual. The spacing suggests a gravitational anomaly in the outer reaches of our system that has evaded attempts at in-depth cartography. It makes astronavigation in these parts rather tricky, or so I’m told.”

Maybe that was why she was still here, looking for a pilot that would fly here into space to stare at what would probably turn out to be nothing.

“Is this seat free?”

Tahl waved half-heartedly at the person to help themselves. _I have to see it for myself! I have to. It’s going to drive me up the wall if I don’t._

“I’m sorry, are you the Jedi that’s lookin’ for a ride to the grav hub at the edge of the system?”

Torn from her morose thoughts Master Tahl made the effort to look the newcomer over. Human. Female. Young? _Not that young,_ she corrected herself. Humans had a tendecy to collect wrinkles over time, through repeated motion. This one seemed to be the animated sort. Fine lines framed the corners of her mouth.

“And if I am?”

“Then maybe I can help you, ya know.” The girl, clad in worn clothing a number too big for her frame, had clear brown eyes and a mischievous smile. Her handshake was firm, her palms calloused. “Heard you were in need of a lift. I’m spinnin’ my wheels anyhow, can’t hurt to help out, yeah?”

Tahl’s Force senses twinged but when she pressed there was no danger. Just a young woman, curious and a little shifty. _Smuggler, likely as not. Looking for an excuse to travel my route?_ The suspicion flittered through her mind, there and gone. _Does it matter if she is? As long as she’s not a slaver or something equally reprehensible…_

“Please, call me Tahl. It’s a pleasure.”

“Tamsin. The pleasure’s all mine, Master Jedi.”

 

\---

 

Tamsin’s ship was… it was a pile of rusted scrap, held together by more patch jobs than a single freighter should have to endure. Tahl tried to be polite about it. Her pilot was so proud of her ‘baby’.

_She probably did most of those repairs herself, Force help us both._

As long as nothing fell off when they left the atmosphere it should be fine. Hopefully.

_The things I do in pursuit of knowledge, I swear._

Haphazard appearance or no, the interior of the ‘Tempest’ was almost cosy. Cramped quarters, made less so by colourful cloth and decorative crystals affixed with painstaking care. Tahl traced the edge of one of the hand-painted faux tapestries. Easy to see why Tamsin would love her ship so much. It had to be home for her.

Take-off was a little nerve wracking still but they made it into space in one piece. Tahl would reserve her judgement on the ship’s capabilities until the hyperdrive engine ejected itself mid-flight, or something equally jarring.

“Alright, good to go. Master Jedi!”

“Yes?”

“Gonna take a bit. Why don’tcha make yourself comfortable out back? Got a couch and everything.”

A smile tugged at Tahl’s lips. If Tamsin was a smuggler, she was a very considerate one. “Don’t mind me if I do.”

 

The couch was very comfortable indeed. Her own weight had Tahl sinking into the plush cushioning as if she had sat down on a cloud. The tea she found in the scuffed cabinet above the small stove was labelled a little eccentrically but tasted well enough.

She had meant to review her notes, maybe go over the astronavigational data about the anomaly again, to better compare it with her own readings later.

In the dimmed light of the cloth-veiled light fixtures Tahl found her late nights were catching up to her. She was finally moving toward her goal. There was little more to be done. Maybe a break wouldn’t hurt.

Just a small one.

A few minutes rest.

Tamsin had said- she had said- When had she laid down? Whenever that had happened, it had been a good idea. She was so _tired_.

Tahl tried to blink her eyes open, with the confused determination of the half-asleep. Hadn’t she wanted to be awake for something?

The crystals she could see were glittering merrily, as if they had a life of their own. _Pretty_.

Someone- Was there someone there? They were petting her hair, murmuring to her soothingly. She felt the words more than she heard them.

_Sleep._

 

_The sounds came first._

_The dark, rolling beat of the drums. The high notes of a lonely syrinx, queer and hypnotizing._

_It filled her up until there was nothing else left in her. Just the melody, like a living thing._

_The melody and the Force._

_She was kneeling, the ground soft under her knees, wet with the rain she could still smell. There would be more soon._

_She was naked to the waist. The air was cool on her skin._

_Slowly she became aware of the people around her, dancing to the beat that was all that she was._

_It was in them too. Twisting, turning, bending._

_She raised her arms to the sky, swaying in the breeze._

_She could barely make out the figures of her brothers and sisters in the sparse light of the torches at the edge of the clearing. Anything beyond that was lost to darkness.  
_

_That was as it should be._

_They reached for her and pulled her to her feet, dancing with her, for her, around and around._

_It would be time soon._

_The dagger at her side was growing heavy, pulsing in time with the drums. In time with her heart._

_She drew it from its sheath._

_It was black in the firelight, devouring the rays and hungry for more. The wicked curve fit into her hand as it had been made just for her. Or she for it._

_They twirled like leaves in the wind. Hapless, helpless, free and falling._

_Slowly, she spun to a halt, holding the blade high above her head. Admiring it with dreamlike intensity._

_One of her brethren fell to his knees in front of her. There was a bowl in his hands, offered to her with reverent joy._

_She traced the curve of the stone worked vessel with her fingers. So smooth. Well-worn._

_It was time._

_Gently she tipped his chin up, smiling at how easily he went. How eagerly._

_She cut his throat._

_His gasp fell into the music, became one with it as the wind was, as their spirits were._

_The bowl sunk into her hand, filling with his blood. When it was overflowing she finally let him sink to the ground so the earth could have the rest._

_She twirled to the music, raised the bowl to her lips. His blood was warm, heady on her tongue._

_It spilled down her front, painting her red._

_Red, red, red, as alive as the music._

_One after another they came to her. She took them all. Took the lives they were giving her, gifting her, so she could fuel the spell._

_Then she was alone, caught in the melody of the Force._

_The dagger and the bowl were gone, done in their work and sated. The ground was soaked with blood, strewn with the still warm corpses of her brethren._

_Ready. Waiting._

_She reached for the heavens, drawing them down, down and around. The clouds parted above her, a twinkling eye of darkness studded with stars._

_The chant came to her lips almost on its own. It flowed into the beat of the drums and the whistle of the flute, into the roaring of the wind and the far of thunder._

_The earth pulled at her, in time to her heartbeat._

_She fell to her knees, becoming one with it even as she was still swaying, swaying in the wind._

_Her skin was turning black under the flaking blood. It cracked, scraggly and rough as she grew and grew._

_Feet to roots, hands to branches. The bodies of her brothers and sisters buried beneath her, reaching forever for the sky._

_Sheltering their family under her crown._

 

Tahl was vaguely aware that she was dreaming. She was caught in the in-between, unable to convince her body to move but her mind almost awake. There was a bitter taste on her tongue.

Something was weighing on her. _A blanket?_

No, not a blanket. Nothing so substantial but still heavy. If she could just place it, maybe she could manage to wake up all the way.

Fuzzy, as if from far off, she could hear voices.

“… a Jedi here? Tam’Sin, do you think this is _wise_?”

“Sssh… sleeping… better to keep an eye out, yeah?”

“… your responsibility…”

“Gonna be fine, Uncle Raja... won’t remember a thing, yeah?”

“You’d best be sure of that.”

Sleep crept up on Master Tahl once more. Before she knew it, it drew her into its embrace, whispering to her with a gentle rustle of leaves.

_Sleep. Dream. Forget._

 

\---

 

Tahl woke with a start.

She shoved herself upright, heart racing in her chest.

_Black bark, stained red. Branches, swaying in the wind. The heartbeat of the Force._

She blinked and the image was gone, sliding out of her thoughts as if it never had been. _Little gods, I have a headache. I’m getting too old for this._

Too old for questionable forays into the far reaches of the galaxy, or too old to fall asleep on a couch and wake with a crick in her neck, she couldn’t say. Maybe both.

Something moved in the door. Tahl almost jumped out of her skin. “Dear bloody fuck!”

Tamsin looked more than a little bewildered. And entertained. Not every day one saw a Jedi curse like a spacer, she supposed.

“Oh, uhm. Yes. Didn’t see you there.”

“Really.” Laughter was lining the young woman’s face.

Tahl grimaced at her. “Was there something you wanted?”

“Yeah. We’re at the grav hub. You wanted to see it, right? Now’s the time.”

 

\---

 

The anomaly was both breath-taking and utterly disappointing.

There was… nothing. A wide field of open space, round and completely empty, that drew debris and dust into its orbit in wide rings. It was beautiful, in a way. Tahl had never seen anything like it. That was something, even if it wasn’t what she had been hoping for. The readings would make a good addition to the Archives.

“How’s it comin’?”

“Almost done.”

“Great! Tell ya what, Master Jedi, how about a nice brunch when we get back? I know that cantina, looks like a slaver’s den, but it has the _best_ blue milk shakes …”

Tahl nodded along to her companion’s enthused chatter. _Maybe_ _I made a new friend, too. You can never have too many of those._ “You know what? You’re right. Let’s get out of here, I’m buying.”

She couldn’t help but laugh along to Tamsin’s shout of joy.

 

If, in the space between one blink of her eyes and the next unease crept up her spine, a whisper found its way to her ears… she couldn’t say. Dreams. Just dreams, following her into the waking world.

 

_There’s nothing here. Nothing at all. Look away._

_Look. Away._

**_Forget._ **

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: deception, hints of non-consensual and consensual drug use, blood sacrifice (mentioned and described), Dark Side magic
> 
> ... this sounds so much worse than it is


End file.
